Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Sardar 2 doctr: Mujhe 1 problem hai
Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta
Dr: aisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt
Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
'He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade.'
After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared &said,
'Khote de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le'
Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,
kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?
Sardar bola, Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega
Hitler says, 'There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary'
Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? 'Jub kharidi thitab hi check karna tha na'
Sardar: Yar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k lye.
Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.
1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaye
1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya 1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho?
Train aayegi to mar jaoge!
Sardar: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahihua, train kya cheez hai?
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon has rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Here is a comparison of the CV’s of the heads of states of two neighboring countries that achieved independence together.
Chief Executive of India
Title: Prime Minister
Name: Dr Manmohan Singh
1950: Stood first in BA (Hons), Economics, Panjab University, Chandigarh ,
1952; Stood first in MA (Economics), Panjab University , Chandigarh,
1954; Wright's Prize for distinguished performance at St John's College,Cambridge,
1955 and 1957; Wrenbury scholar, University of Cambridge ,
1957; DPhil (Oxford), DLitt (Honoris Causa); PhD thesis on India's export competitiveness
Working Experience [Teaching]
Professor (Senior lecturer, Economics, 1957-59;
Reader, Economics, 1959-63;
Professor, Economics, Panjab University, Chandigarh, 1963-65;
Professor, International Trade, Delhi School of Economics,Universit y of Delhi, 1969-71; Honorary professor, Jawaharlal Nehru University,New Delhi, 1976 and Delhi School of Economics, University of Delhi,1996 and Civil Servant
Working Experience [INTERNATIONAL ASSIGNMENTS] :
1966: Economic Affairs Officer
1966-69: Chief, financing for trade section, UNCTAD
1972-74: Deputy for India in IMF Committee of Twenty on International Monetary Reform 1977-79: Indian delegation to Aid-India Consortium Meetings
1980-82: Indo-Soviet joint planning group meeting
1982: Indo-Soviet monitoring group meeting
1993: Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting Cyprus
1993: Human Rights World Conference, Vienna
Working Experience [Government Positions]:
1971-72: Economic advisor, ministry of foreign trade
1972-76: Chief economic advisor, ministry of finance
1976-80: - Director, Reserve Bank of India; Director, Industrial Development Bank of India; - Alternate governor for India , Board of governors , Asian Development Bank;
- Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, IBRD
- November 1976 - April 1980: Secretary, ministry of finance (Department of economic affairs);
- Member, finance, Atomic Energy Commission ; Member,finance, Space Commission
April 1980 - September 15, 1982: Member-secretary, Planning Commission
1980-83: Chairman, India Committee of the Indo-Japan joint study committee
September 16, 1982 - January 14 , 1985: Governor, Reserve Bank of India.
1982-85: Alternate Governor for India, Board of governors, International Monetary Fund
1983-84: Member, economic advisory council to the Prime Minister
1985: President, Indian Economic Association
January 15 , 1985 - July 31, 1987: Deputy Chairman, Planning Commission
August 1, 1987 - November 10, 1990: Secretary-general and commissioner, south commission, Geneva
December 10 , 1990 - March 14, 1991: Advisor to the Prime Minister on economic affairs
March 15, 1991 - June 20, 1991: Chairman, UGC
June 21, 1991 - May 15, 1996: Union finance minister
October 1991: Elected to Rajya Sabha from Assam on Congress ticket
June 1995: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha
1996 onwards: Member, Consultative Committee for the ministry of finance
August 1, 1996 - December 4 , 1997: Chairman, Parliamentary standing committee on commerce March 21, 1998 onwards: Leader of the Opposition, Rajya Sabha
June 5, 1998 onwards: Member, committee on finance
August 13, 1998 onwards: Member, committee on rules
Aug 1998-2001: Member, committee of privileges
2000 onwards: Member, executive committee, Indian parliamentary group
June 2001: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha
Aug 2001 onwards: Member, general purposes committee
2004: Prime Minister of India
India's Export Trends and Prospects for Self-Sustained Growth -Clarendon Press, Oxford University, 1964;
also published a large number of articles in various economic journals .
Adam Smith Prize , University of Cambridge, 1956
Padma Vibhushan , 1987
Euro money Award, Finance Minister of the Year, 1993;
Asia money Award, Finance Minister of the Year for Asia , 1993 and 1994
Chief Executive of Pakistan
Title: President of Pakistan
Name: Asif Ali Zardari
High School from Cadet College Petaro Details of higher formal education not known; Claims graduation from London but not available to be verified. As per some account. His official biography says he attended a commercial college called Pedinton School. But a search of tertiary educational institutions in London showed no such school.
Early days: Working at the family owned Bambino Cinema at Karachi. Some accuse Mr Zardari of small-time ticket frauds to steal money from the family business. Up till 1987 (marriage to the future Prime Minister, Benazir Bhutto): No record. 1988 to date: While no official record of any business exists, Mr Zardari is widely believed to be one of the (if not the) richest man in Pakistan. An unofficial list of family owned businesses, property and accounts exists but the completeness of the same cannot be verified. Mr Zardari has however been involved in various national and international cases relating to his businesses. The most significant European cases are a Swiss money-laundering inquiry and a British civil cases.
Working Experience [Politics]:
1988-1990: Husband of the Prime Minister
1993–1996: Minister of Environment during his wife's second term as the Prime Minister Un till 1999:
Senator 30 December 2007: Appointed himself as the co-chairman of the PPP, along with his son Bilawal Bhutto Zardari September 9, 2008:
Zardari was elected president of Pakistan. Sworn in by Abdul Hameed Dogar, whose position as the Chiefe Justice of Pakistan remains a contested issue by an overwhelming majority of the Pakistani legal fraternity.
Working Experience [Other]:
Other experience of Mr Zardari includes his widely believed but not proven involvement in
- Several murders - most famously of his brother in law, possibly his wife
- Wrapping a bomb to the leg of a famous UK businessman to ask for money
- Embezzlement & looting of Billions of Pakistan's wealth
None on record
Marrying the then future and now ex (RIP) Prime Minister of Pakistan Only serving politician to have spent 10 years in Jail Told the US VP Candidate that she is "gorgeous" and said : "Now I know why the whole of America is crazy about you". When the photographers asked the two to keep shaking hands, he replied : " If he insists, I might hug you". This was one day after the President delivered an emotional speech at the UN in new York waiving a photograph of his deceased wife only months after the murder of his wife
.... O Allah Help Pakistan
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
PIG FAT By Dr. M. Amjad Khan
In nearly all the western countries including Europe, the PRIMARY choice for meat is PIG. There are a lot of farms in these countries to breed this animal. In France alone, Pig Farms account for more than 42,000.
PIGS have the highest quantity of FAT in their body than any other animal. But Europeans and Americans try to avoid fats.
Thus, where does the FAT from these PIGS go? All pigs are cut inslaughter houses under the control of the department of food and it was the headache of the department of food to dispose of the fat removed from these pigs.
Formally, it was burnt (about 60 years ago). Then they thought of utilizing it. First, they experimented it in the making of SOAPS and it worked.
Then, a full network was formed and this FAT was chemically Processed, Packed and Marketed, while the other manufacturing companies bought it. In the meantime, all European States made it a rule that every Food, Medical and Personal Hygiene product should have the ingredients listed on its cover. so, this ingredient was listed as PIG FAT.
Those who are living in Europe for the past 40 years know about this. But, these products came under a ban by the ISLAMIC COUNTRIES at that time, which resulted in a trade deficit.
Going back in time, if you are somehow related to South East Asia, you might know about the provoking factors of the 1857 CIVIL WAR. At that time, Rifle Bullets were made in Europe and transported to the sub-continent through the Sea. It took months to reach there and the gun powder in it was ruined due to the exposure to sea.
Then, they got the idea of coating the Bullets with fat, which was PIG FAT.. The fat layer had to be scratched by teeth before using them. When the word spread, the soldiers, mostly Muslim and some Vegetarians, refused to fight. Which eventually lead to the Civil War. The Europeans recognized these facts, and instead of writing PIG FAT, they started writing ANIMAL FAT. All those living in Europe since 1970's know this fact. When the companies were asked by authorities from the MUSLIM COUNTRIES, what animal fat is it, they were told it was COW and SHEEP Fat. Here again a question raised, if it was COW or SHEEP Fat, still it is HARAAM to MUSLIMS, as these animal were not SLAUGHTERED as per the ISLAMIC LAW. Thus, they were again banned. Now, these multinational companies were again facing a severe drought of money as 75% of their income comes from selling their goods to Muslim Countries, and these earn BILLIONS OF DOLLARS of Profit from their exports to the MUSLIM WORLD.
Finally they decided to start a coding language, so that only their Departments of Food Administration should know what they are using, and the common man is left lurking in the dark.Thus, they started E-CODES. These E- INGREDIENTS are present in a majority of products of multinational firms including, but not limited to -
SHAVING CREAM CHEWING GUM,
Some medication Multi-vitamins Since these goods are being used in all MUSLIM Countries indiscrimately, our society is facing problems like shamelessness, rudeness and sexual promiscuity.
So, I request all MUSLIMS or non pork eaters to check the ingredients of the ITEMS of daily use and match it with the following list of E-CODES. If any of the ingredients listed below is found, try to avoid it, as it has got PIG FAT;
E100, E110, E120, E 140, E141, E153, E210, E213, E214, E216, E234, E252,E270, E280, E325, E326, E327, E334, E335, E336, E337, E422, E430, E431, E432, E433, E434, E435, E436, E440, E470, E471, E472, E473, E474, E475,E476, E477, E478, E481, E482, E483, E491, E492, E493, E494, E495, E542,E570, E572, E631, E635, E904.
Dr. M. Amjad Khan
Medical Research Institute
Friday, January 9, 2009
All the below Masterfood Company Chocolate Products(Mars) are no longer Halal, They started using Animal products rennet(pork) in it for products that have expiry date after 1st of October 2007.
Check this article from BBC News
And this from the vegetarian Society
- Dove Chocolate
- Kudos(North America)
- M-Azing (North America)
- Mars Bar
- Mars Delight
- Milky Way
- Minstrels (UK only)
- Mars Planets(newly introduced in UK)
- Snickers(The top-selling candy bars in the United States, known as marathon in UK till 1990)
- Startburst (Origionally Opal Fruits in UK)
- 3 Msketeers (North America)
- Snicker's Marathon Energy Bar
Monday, January 5, 2009
Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.
Signed - Project Leader
A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER:
"That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13) for my true assessment of him."